Long and Boring


Lisa tried years afterward to describe the terrible to behold, and insanely vile taste of the mold colored cheese, but she found that after too long, the cheese actually became quite the enjoyable delicacy and she was quite addicted to eating it, an activity she found useful to practice daily for maximum comfort.

Ugh! That’s too long and detailed. Now try:

Lisa hated the cheese. It was even mold colored! But, she found that maybe the cheese could be fine. Maybe.

That was fine! It was short and sweet. But too short with no detail is like:

Lisa disliked the cheese. Then she liked it.

So which would you choose?

Imagine reading this:

In spite of the horrible cheese’s taste, it was quite pleasant to enjoy the delicate yet delicious taste of the cheese, which she graciously ate in exactly 3 bites in exactly 3.1415 seconds!

I thought she hated the cheese!

Advertisements

One response to “Long and Boring

  1. Pingback: Writing detail without being long and boring « Cosmic Mango's Writing Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s